# The one-to-one that works > Cadence, an agenda that belongs to the report, notes with next steps and neutral questions. - Course: [From Specialist to Manager: Your First Year Leading a Team](https://productovi.com/courses/from-specialist-to-manager.md) - Module: One-to-ones and feedback - Lesson 5/32, ~22 min - Source: https://productovi.com/courses/from-specialist-to-manager/the-one-to-one-that-works ## February: a rhythm, not a round **Alex Tutor:** Where we are: January gave you a calendar audit, a listening round and a 30-60-90 plan on Iryna's desk. February is days 1–30 of that plan, and it starts with regular **one-to-ones**. **Sofia:** The listening round has just ended. I've talked to everyone. Why meet each of them every week? **Alex Tutor:** The round was a snapshot. A one-to-one is a rhythm: a private, regular slot where the report brings what matters to them. Problems reach you while they're still small. **Alex Tutor:** Quick check on that difference. > **Exercise:** The listening round has just ended. Why start weekly one-to-ones anyway? **Alex Tutor:** Cadence first. Weekly, 30 minutes, for anyone new and for everyone in a busy season. Every two weeks for experienced people once things are calm. The same slot each time, so nobody has to ask for it. **Sofia:** Two of them work abroad, and Bohdan loses power a lot. Video every week? **Alex Tutor:** Video when it works, camera optional. Pick a slot inside both time zones' working hours. If the power goes, move it within the week or hold it in writing. Moving is fine. Quietly cancelling tells people they come last. > **Exercise:** Which one-to-one setup fits the Support team (four remote coordinators, two of them abroad, frequent power cuts) for February and the March peak? ## Whose agenda it is **Alex Tutor:** The agenda belongs to the report. Keep one shared doc per person: they add topics before the meeting, you add yours below. Their topics go first, every time. **Sofia:** And the queue, the ticket status, the new rotation? **Alex Tutor:** Status lives in the ticket thread or a short written update. Turn a one-to-one into a status report and people stop bringing what only a private talk can surface: doubts, friction, what they want next. **Olha:** Then I'll put something real in the doc. But if it turns into a review of my ticket counts, I'll stop. **Alex Tutor:** A fair warning, and a useful one. Her topic first, yours after. > **Exercise:** **True or false:** a good one-to-one opens with the lead reviewing the person's ticket numbers for the week, so the time is used efficiently. ## What to ask **Alex Tutor:** When the doc is empty, keep a few standing questions. As in the listening round: ask about real recent events and don't lead the answer. **Alex Tutor:** "What took longer than it should this week?" "Where did you get stuck, and what did you try?" "What should I start, stop or keep doing?" "Which part of the work would you like more of?" **Sofia:** And "Is everything OK?" **Alex Tutor:** That invites "Yes, fine." So does "You're happy with the rotation, right?" A neutral question names the topic and leaves the answer open: "How is the rotation working for you so far?" **Alex Tutor:** Then listen more than you talk. If you hear about health, family or safety, offer what work can change, like hours or load, and point to a professional for the rest. You're the lead, not a therapist. > **Exercise:** Which questions are **neutral and open** enough for a standing one-to-one list? Select all that apply. ## Notes and next steps **Alex Tutor:** Write short notes in the shared doc, during the meeting or right after: what you discussed, and each next step with one owner and a date. Next week starts by checking them. **Sofia:** Should Iryna see those notes? **Alex Tutor:** No. What's said in a one-to-one stays between the two of you, unless it's about safety, harassment or the law. Then you say honestly that you have to take it further. Themes without names can go up. **Alex Tutor:** Check yourself on what stays private. > **Exercise:** **True or false:** the lead should share one-to-one notes with Iryna, so the head of operations knows what's going on in the team. **Alex Tutor:** A 30-minute shape that works: last week's next steps, their topics, yours, feedback both ways, new next steps. Feedback gets its own lesson next. > **Exercise:** Put the parts of a 30-minute one-to-one in order. ## An empty doc and a skipped week **Alex Tutor:** Maryna's doc has been empty for two weeks. In the meeting she says "all fine" and waits for you. **Sofia:** Maybe she simply has nothing to raise? **Alex Tutor:** Maybe. Or she isn't sure yet that it's safe or worth it. Make it easy: send two or three questions a day ahead, so she can answer in writing first. Quiet people often say more after time to think. **Alex Tutor:** Which move helps Maryna most? > **Exercise:** Maryna's agenda doc has been empty for two weeks, and in meetings she says “all fine”. What is the best next move? **Alex Tutor:** Now the opposite case. Bohdan writes: "Can we skip this week? Big backlog." > **Exercise:** Bohdan writes: "Can we skip this week? Big backlog." What is the best reply? ## Your turn: questions for Maryna **Alex Tutor:** Busy weeks are exactly when one-to-ones pay off, so offer 15 minutes instead of none, and ask what's behind the backlog. **Sofia:** And Maryna? What do I actually send her? **Alex Tutor:** Three questions for tomorrow's one-to-one. Open, about her real recent work, none of them leading. One of them can invite feedback on you. **Olha:** One tip: Maryna notices everything. Ask what she's seen, not what she thinks of it. > **Exercise:** Write the **three questions** you'll send Maryna a day before her next one-to-one. Her shared doc has been empty for two weeks, and in meetings she says "all fine". > **Key ideas** > > - A **one-to-one** is a regular private meeting: weekly for 30 minutes for new people and in busy seasons, every two weeks when things are calm, in a fixed slot. > - The agenda belongs to the report: a shared doc per person, their topics first. Status updates go to the ticket thread, not the one-to-one. > - Keep standing questions about real recent events, and keep them neutral: "How is the rotation working for you so far?", not "You're happy with it, right?" > - Notes in the shared doc, each next step with one owner and a date. What's said stays private, except safety, harassment or legal issues. > - Remote: slots inside both time zones, camera optional, move (don't cancel) when the power goes, questions in writing a day ahead for quieter people. **Alex Tutor:** Next time: feedback on behavior, and why it never starts with the person's character. - Previous lesson: [Case: a 30-60-90 plan for the Support team](https://productovi.com/courses/from-specialist-to-manager/30-60-90-plan-case.md) - Next lesson: [Feedback on behavior, not on character](https://productovi.com/courses/from-specialist-to-manager/feedback-on-behavior.md) --- Productovi Learning. Free, no sign-up needed to read.