# Feedback on behavior, not on character > Behavior, impact, next step: ask the person's view first, skip the sandwich, and don't turn one case into "always". - Course: [From Specialist to Manager: Your First Year Leading a Team](https://productovi.com/courses/from-specialist-to-manager.md) - Module: One-to-ones and feedback - Lesson 6/32, ~23 min - Source: https://productovi.com/courses/from-specialist-to-manager/feedback-on-behavior ## A label or a behavior **Sofia:** The one-to-ones are running. Now I have things to say that people won't like. Bohdan is slow in the mornings, and Taras is careless. **Alex Tutor:** "Slow" and "careless" are labels for a person. Hear one and people defend who they are; the conversation turns into an argument about character. **Alex Tutor:** **Feedback on behavior** describes something a person did, so they can do it differently: "On Monday and Tuesday the first EU messages waited over two hours" is a behavior. "You're slow" isn't. **Sofia:** So a test: could a camera have recorded it? **Alex Tutor:** A good test. A camera sees a ticket closed before the family replied. It doesn't see "careless", "lazy" or "doesn't care". Those are verdicts about character, not things you saw. > **Exercise:** Which sentence describes a **behavior**, not a trait? ## Behavior, impact, next step **Alex Tutor:** The shape is simple: the behavior, its impact, the next step. And one move before the impact: ask how the person saw it. You may be missing half the story. **Alex Tutor:** Iryna happens to have some for you. Watch the shape. **Iryna:** On Thursday's call, when Taras asked about a refund, you answered in twenty seconds, before anyone else spoke. How did that moment look from your side? **Sofia:** Honestly? The queue was long and I knew the answer. **Iryna:** Makes sense. The impact: since then, refund questions come to you, not to Olha's rotation. Next week, could you count to ten and ask "Olha, what would you do?" We'll look at hand-ups on Friday. > **Exercise:** Iryna, your manager, gives you feedback: on Thursday's call, when Taras asked about a refund, you answered in twenty seconds, before anyone else spoke, and since then refund questions skip Olha's rotation. Put the steps of her feedback in the order she used them. ## Why the sandwich fails **Sofia:** That stung a little, but it was clear. I was taught to wrap criticizm in praise: something nice, the problem, something nice again. **Alex Tutor:** The sandwich doesn't work. People learn to wait for the "but", so the praise starts to sound like a warning. And they leave remembering the nice parts, not the change. **Alex Tutor:** Keep them apart. Give praise when it's earned, specific and on its own: "Your rotation note on the video refund was so clear that Maryna solved it alone." Give correction directly and kindly. **Alex Tutor:** Timing matters too. Within a few days, while both of you remember. Corrective feedback in private, by voice or video, then a two-line summary in writing. In a team chat, tone gets lost and everyone watches. > **Exercise:** **True or false:** wrapping a correction between two compliments makes it easier for the person to hear and act on it. **Alex Tutor:** And what does praise on its own look like? > **Exercise:** Which praise is most useful to the person who hears it? **Alex Tutor:** Now timing and channel. > **Exercise:** You need to talk to Bohdan about Monday's and Tuesday's late first replies. When and how? ## One case is not a pattern **Sofia:** Yesterday a family left a furious survey comment about Maryna's reply. Should I raise it today? **Alex Tutor:** Read the ticket first. One comment is one moment, and her satisfaction over two months is the team's best. If the reply had a real problem, talk about that one reply. Never "you always" from a single case. **Alex Tutor:** The reverse holds too. To say "this keeps happening", you need several cases, and you should name them. **Olha:** Speaking from the other side: I'd rather hear about one ticket on Tuesday than about "a pattern" at a review in August. > **Exercise:** A family left one furious survey comment about Maryna's reply. Her satisfaction over two months is the team's best. What do you do? **Alex Tutor:** And the reverse case: when is it really a pattern? > **Exercise:** **True or false:** to tell Taras “this keeps happening”, one clear, serious example is enough. ## Your turn: unwrap a sandwich **Alex Tutor:** Here is a draft for Bohdan: "You're our most experienced person and families love you, but you're too slow in the mornings. Still, great job on the Teams invoices!" **Sofia:** And the facts behind it? **Alex Tutor:** On Monday and Tuesday Bohdan started his shift with the Teams invoices. The first messages from EU families waited over two hours; the team's agreement says 45 minutes on shift. **Alex Tutor:** There may be a reason: maybe invoices have a deadline nobody told you about. That's why you ask before you conclude. > **Exercise:** Your draft feedback for Bohdan: “You're our most experienced person and families love you, but you're too slow in the mornings. Still, great job on the Teams invoices!” Behind it: on Monday and Tuesday EU families' first messages waited over two hours, and the team's agreement says 45 minutes. Which parts should be **dropped** in the rewrite? Select all that apply. **Alex Tutor:** Now rewrite the whole draft as you'd say it to Bohdan on a call. **Sofia:** And the invoices praise goes in a separate message, when it's not glued to a "but". **Alex Tutor:** Exactly. Four short parts: the behavior, a question about his view, the impact, and a next step you agree on together. **Olha:** And don't call him slow. He's heard that for ten years, and it never changed a thing. > **Exercise:** Rewrite your draft for Bohdan (“You're our most experienced person and families love you, but you're too slow in the mornings. Still, great job on the Teams invoices!”) as you'd say it on a call, in 3–5 sentences: **the behavior, a question about his view, the impact, and a next step** you'd suggest agreeing on. Facts: on Monday and Tuesday he started his shift with the Teams invoices; EU families' first messages waited over two hours; the team's agreement says a first reply within 45 minutes on shift. > **Key ideas** > > - **Feedback on behavior** describes what a person did (a camera could record it), not who they are. Labels like "slow" or "careless" start a defense of character. > - The shape: the behavior → ask how the person saw it → the impact → a next step you agree on, with a date to look again. > - Skip the sandwich: people wait for the "but" and remember the wrong part. Praise specifically and separately; correct directly and kindly. > - Soon and in private for corrective feedback, by voice or video, then a short written summary. Not in a team chat. > - One case is one moment: talk about that case, never "you always". A pattern needs several named cases. **Alex Tutor:** Next time we turn it around: feedback going up, and the blind spots you can't see without it. - Previous lesson: [The one-to-one that works](https://productovi.com/courses/from-specialist-to-manager/the-one-to-one-that-works.md) - Next lesson: [Feedback going up: your blind spots](https://productovi.com/courses/from-specialist-to-manager/feedback-going-up.md) --- Productovi Learning. Free, no sign-up needed to read.