# Three rules for questions that get honest answers > How to conduct customer interviews that get honest answers: talk about their life, ask about specific past events, listen more than you talk, and remember who owns the problem and who owns the solution. - Course: [Customer Development: Talking to Customers](https://productovi.com/courses/customer-interviews.md) - Module: Why customers lie - Lesson 2/15, ~40 min - Source: https://productovi.com/courses/customer-interviews/three-rules-for-honest-answers ## Rule 1: their life, not your idea **Alex Tutor:** Still at CatChow, still checking whether people want the food subscription. There's been progress since last time. **Sofia:** I've rewritten my script. No more “do you like it”. Now I open with: “We're launching a food subscription. Can I ask a few questions about how you buy cat food?” **Alex Tutor:** Better, but the same problem: the idea is in your first sentence. From then on she answers with the subscription in mind, and politely. **Alex Tutor:** Rule one for honest answers: **talk about their life instead of your idea**. Their routine, their hassles, what they spend, what they've tried. Your idea stays in your pocket. ![A woman at her kitchen table points at an empty cat bowl as she talks; the listener takes notes and keeps a wrapped box closed under the table.](https://productovi.com/courses/customer-interviews/inline/three-rules-for-honest-answers-illustration-2.webp) **Sofia:** Forever? At some point I need to know whether she wants it. **Alex Tutor:** Later, and not by asking her opinion. Once you understand the problem, you ask for something real, like a pre-order. That's module 4. The usual mistake is showing the idea too early. **Alex Tutor:** A good sign: she leaves the call without knowing what you're building, and you leave knowing exactly how her last food run went. > **Exercise:** Which opening follows rule 1 best? ## Rule 2: specifics in the past **Sofia:** OK, life, not idea. So I'll ask: “How do you usually buy cat food?” **Alex Tutor:** Closer. But “usually” invites a portrait of her ideal self: “Oh, I always buy in advance, I'm very organised.” A **generic claim** describes who she'd like to be, not what she did. **Alex Tutor:** Rule two: **ask about specifics in the past instead of generics or opinions about the future**. Not “how do you usually…”, but “when did you last…?” and “walk me through it”. **Sofia:** Why is the past so much better? **Alex Tutor:** The past has details: which shop, what day, what went wrong, what it cost. It's hard to embellish. The future is free, and everyone's a brilliant planner in the future. ![A magnifying glass over one past day on a wall calendar shows a closed shop and an empty cat bowl; the future pages are blank and foggy.](https://productovi.com/courses/customer-interviews/inline/three-rules-for-honest-answers-illustration-3.webp) *One real day in the past tells you more than any promise about next month.* **Alex Tutor:** Listen for warning words: “always”, “usually”, “never”, “would”, “will”. When you hear them, ask about one specific time. > **Exercise:** Which questions follow rule 2 (specifics in the past)? Select all that apply. **Sofia:** What about a scenario, like “What would you do if delivery took a whole week?” That's specific. **Alex Tutor:** Specific, yes, but it never happened. She'd have to invent the answer, and invented answers are flattering. Rule two needs both: specific and in the past. **Alex Tutor:** Ask instead: “When did a delivery last arrive late? What did you do?” If it never happened, that's useful to know too. **Alex Tutor:** Let's check you've got the difference. > **Exercise:** “What would you do if your usual pet shop closed for a month?” follows rule 2, because it asks about a concrete situation. ## Rule 3: talk less, listen more **Sofia:** Here's yesterday's call with Olivia. I followed both rules! I asked: “When did you last run out of food?” **Olivia:** Oh, two weeks ago, actually. It was Sunday evening, the shop downstairs was closed, and— **Sofia:** And I jumped in: “That's exactly why we're building our subscription! Food arrives automatically, you never run out, and it's 10% cheaper!” **Olivia:** Oh, that's great. Yes, that would help. **Alex Tutor:** You had it. A real story, two weeks old, just unfolding. Then you started **pitching**, and she switched to being polite. We'll never know how that Sunday ended. **Alex Tutor:** Rule three: **talk less, listen more**. Every sentence about your solution is a sentence you're not learning about her problem. Pauses are fine. Let her finish. ![At a café table, a customer's large speech bubble holds pictures of her cat and a closed shop; the listener's bubble is tiny, his pen resting on a notebook.](https://productovi.com/courses/customer-interviews/inline/three-rules-for-honest-answers-illustration-4.webp) > **Exercise:** Sofia's call with Olivia, a cat owner: > > > **Sofia:** When did you last run out of food? > > > > **Olivia:** Oh, two weeks ago, actually. It was Sunday evening, the shop downstairs was closed, and— > > > > **Sofia:** That's exactly why we're building our subscription! Food arrives automatically, you never run out, and it's 10% cheaper! > > > > **Olivia:** Oh, that's great. Yes, that would help. > > Which moment of the call cost Sofia the most information? **Alex Tutor:** Let's replay that moment. Olivia has just said the shop downstairs was closed. Which reply keeps her story going? > **Exercise:** Olivia: “It was Sunday evening, the shop downstairs was closed, and…” Which reply follows rule 3? **Sofia:** Honestly, during a call I don't notice that I'm talking too much. **Alex Tutor:** Few people do. So check afterwards: who did most of the talking, did you hear real stories, and what was the last thing the customer said? **Alex Tutor:** If the call ends with “that would help”, you were probably pitching. And racing through fifteen questions leaves no room for stories. **Alex Tutor:** Try it on four of Sofia's calls. > **Exercise:** Sofia reviews four calls from this week. Which sign best shows that a call followed rule 3? ## They own the problem, you own the solution **Sofia:** On the next call I kept quiet, and Olivia had an idea: “You should make an app where I scan the bag and it reorders automatically!” Should we build that? **Alex Tutor:** Maybe, maybe not. Customers know their problems very well. They're usually not good at designing solutions, and that's not their job. **Alex Tutor:** So here's the deal: you don't tell her what her problem is, and she doesn't tell you what to build. **She owns the problem, you own the solution.** **Sofia:** So I ignore her idea? **Alex Tutor:** No, you treat it as a clue. Ask why: “What would scanning save you?” Maybe the real problem is remembering to reorder, maybe it's the trip. Her idea points at the problem; it isn't a spec. > **Exercise:** If several customers ask for the same feature, the team should build it exactly as requested, because customers know best what they need. **Sofia:** So when she suggests the scanning app, what exactly do I say? **Alex Tutor:** Go back to her life and the problem behind the idea: the last time it happened, how she copes today, what it cost her. **Alex Tutor:** What you don't do: sell the idea back to her, design extra features together, or promise it's on the roadmap. **Alex Tutor:** Let's practise turning Olivia's app idea into a clue. > **Exercise:** Olivia suggests: “Make an app where I scan the bag and it reorders automatically!” Which replies treat her idea as a clue to the problem? Select all that apply. ## Checking Megan's sales script **Megan:** My team starts calling customers on Monday to ask about the subscription. Here's our script. Can you and Alex give it a quick look? **Alex Tutor:** Sales scripts are built to persuade, so they tend to break all three rules at once. Let's see. **Sofia:** Some lines feel off, one looks fine. Let me match each line to the rule it breaks. **Alex Tutor:** Go ahead. One line may break more than one rule; pick the most obvious. > **Exercise:** Match each line of Megan's script to the rule it breaks most clearly. ## Fixing the script **Sofia:** I should send Megan something better, not just criticism. **Alex Tutor:** Right. Rewrite the worst line. **Sofia:** And the closing question: “Would you switch from your pet shop to us?” Is that the worst? **Alex Tutor:** Pretty much: the idea, the future and a sales pitch in one sentence. Turn it into questions that follow all three rules. > **Exercise:** Rewrite Megan's line “Would you switch from your pet shop to us?” into one or two questions that follow all three rules for honest answers. ## When the answer is generic **Megan:** Thanks, we'll use it! One customer on a test call said: “I always buy food in advance, I never run out.” So she doesn't need the subscription, right? **Sofia:** “Always”, “never”. That's a generic claim, isn't it? **Alex Tutor:** Yes. It could be true, or it could be who she'd like to be. Don't argue with it, and don't accept it either. Ask for one specific time. **Sofia:** How do I do that without sounding like I'm trying to catch her out? **Alex Tutor:** Be curious, not suspicious. Your turn. > **Exercise:** A customer says: “I always buy food in advance, I never run out.” Write your follow-up (one or two questions) that turns this generic claim into a specific story, without sounding accusing. ## Planning a real conversation **Sofia:** Tomorrow I'm meeting a customer, Emily, at our pickup point. Fifteen minutes, tops. **Alex Tutor:** Then plan it. Not a script to read out, just a few questions and a clear idea of what you're listening for. **Sofia:** And if she asks what we're working on? **Alex Tutor:** Worth planning for. Say you're trying to understand how people buy cat food, and keep the details for the very end, if at all. > **Exercise:** Plan Sofia's 15-minute conversation with Emily. ## What to remember **Sofia:** Three rules. Honestly, the third will be the hardest for me. **Alex Tutor:** It's the hardest for everyone who cares about their idea. That's why the first two help: if you're asking about her past, there's less temptation to talk about your future. > **The three rules** > > 1. Talk about their life instead of your idea. > 2. Ask about specifics in the past instead of generics or opinions about the future. > 3. Talk less and listen more. > > They own the problem; you own the solution. **Alex Tutor:** Next lesson is a workshop: we'll take your whole question list and sort the good from the bad. - Previous lesson: [Why “do you like my idea?” is useless](https://productovi.com/courses/customer-interviews/do-you-like-my-idea.md) - Next lesson: [Bad questions vs good questions](https://productovi.com/courses/customer-interviews/bad-vs-good-questions.md) --- Productovi Learning. Free, no sign-up needed to read.